How familiar is this?

Got this in my email today... I believe all of us can relate to this at a certain point in our lives... A research done well... and amusing, no doubt... he! he! :)

WHAT MOTHER TAUGHT ME!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL
DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that the stain will come out of
the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
into shape by the middle
of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going
to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're
involve in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry
about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of
OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your
neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went
through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you
out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR
MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in
this world who
don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
" Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are
going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when
you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't
come
running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never
grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
" Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were
born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite :

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they all turn
out to be like you!"