Have you been there?

I would have to say that my student days were colorful... which I am truly grateful for...
I believe that to really live... is to really feel... and to really feel is to really experience ... sometimes, it is necessary to take something bad you are going through and turn it into something priceless... after all, if you don't experience the bad, how can you compare and appreciate when something good comes along...

There was a moment in time when I was in college that I had some accomodation issues...
At that point in time, my sister (D) and her hubby (A) who were students as well, were living together with me in a 3 bedroom house. All was well until we realised that our landlord were becoming a nuisance(they lived next door). They had the key to the house and we suspect that they have been coming into the house without our permission... Finally D had a big fight with them and we decided to move out... They were stupid enough to suggest that A and me continue to live there without D... (Helllooooooooo!!! we are family ! d-uh!)

At that point, A's been working part time and his boss had recently purchased a house in our town... So the boss suggested that we became his tenants(he was a really nice guy)... the house was really big and really nice with a barn in the garden and plenty of spaces for our cats to play around...
We had a bunch of cats(Kecik,Gemuk,Gumbo,Comot,Grey,Mogwai,Gizmo) by that time and some birds ...

All was well and we had moved in our stuffs and pets and all in tow... when the Landlord told us that we cannot live there for a week because there were some paperwork which were not processed yet... however, we did not have to pay rent for the amount of time we don't get to live there... which sounded quite fair to me...

We decided not to bother anyone and just find a cheap motel and bunk there for a week... we would visit the cats and birds and oh yah! fishes too(we had tons of aquarium) daily to feed them and play with them...

Suddenly... a week turned to two weeks and two weeks turned to a month and on and on and on...

So from the motel, we bunked into my friend's house(we were lucky that it was summer and so ... a lot of people who had housemates were living alone)... but suddenly... my friend(K) had to move out because his landlord wanted the house back... What timing!!!

And so... my friend joined our caravan of homeless people...

And then there were 4...

We all bunked into another friend's(R) place which K was house sitting... We could only stay there for about 2 weeks because R's housemate who was supposed to have paid the rent, had skipped town without paying it and the landlord was mad! (Oh! college life)

Money was running really short by that time.... we had to really save up because we really don't know when we will get to live in that house... I was getting really pissed off... morales were low... I was beginning to feel like a fugitive...

Things got so bad that finally... we were practically living in our car... we didnt have any money to rent another place... we didnt have enough money to eat properly... we were counting pennies and dimes... we were breaking our piggy banks and tracking down lose change in the car and the pockets of our jeans and pants... The only money we had were spent on food and petrol...

There were days that we didn't even shower but just managed to go to the public restroom to wash up and go to the loo...

my hair was even turning into dredlocks...
we spent the days hanging by the park in our car...
we bought a portable stove which uses canned gas and we ate bread and eggs for daysss...and on days we could... we went fishing... we managed to get a few fishes to satisfy our hunger... we couldnt afford anything else... we had to make sure that our pets had enough food as well...
we didn't eat or drink too much for fear of having to constantly go to the yucky public loo...

Finally summer was turning into fall... and it was getting really cold... we couldnt stay in the park anymore... and we have had enough... it was getting ridiculous...

Finally we told the Landlord that we want to move in now!

And again he apologised and promised that it won't take more than a week...

We compromised and slept in the house at night but left the house early in the morning everyday... we had no choice...we had no money... whatever money we had... was coming from A's paycheck...
Sleeping in the house was better than nothing... we couldn't turn on the lights or the heater tho... and every morning about 5am... we would get up and quickly shower... after showering, we would wipe the tub dry and make sure we didn't leave any incriminating evidence which proves that somebody was living there... and then... by 6am we had to leave the house just in case somebody sees us... we would creep back in when its dark and hide the car in the barn at the back of the house...

By that time... we had some food left from the old house, and so we were eating rice and long beans and ikan masin(salted fish) every day... we also discovered how tasty it is to eat baked potato with butter and bawang goreng(fried shallots) as a topping...
This went on for a few months until we received news that my parents were coming down for a visit... we had no choice but to push him to do something about it or all hell would break loose...

Finally... we were able to live like normal people (that is if people consider us normal in the first place...)... and our friend K... moved in with us and rented the spare bedroom...

That was one experience which I could never forget...

For a moment there... I really know how it feels to be homeless and penniless... and even then... I consider myself to still be very lucky because we had a car and could move around comfortably and had some fresh and "clean" food...

When I found myself in this position... it took a lot not to break my spirit... it was one of the toughest moments in my life... From a life so full of comfort and security to a life of uncertainties with not even a roof over my head... i was humbled by circumstances... as temporary as it was and even though i knew it wasnt going to be forever, i knew that i was supposed to learn something from this because i believe that some hardship we go through in our younger days could be preparing us for something greater which we will face later on in our lives... and nowadays when i see a homeless person on the streets... i could almost (i say almost because i haven't gone thru the whole 9 yards of it)feel what they feel... but i gotta give it to them... they are stronger and more courageous than me... in a game of survival of the fittest, i would lose so dramatically next to them...But what good came out of it... in those moments... D,A and I really bonded and we survived it together... we could not do anything else but spend that time talking and joking with one another... we only had one another to hang on to... We managed to keep our humor intact and managed to calm one another down for the moments when one of us was really losing it... we were successful in making it together as a team... given a chance again... i wouldn't change that experience for anything else... as difficult as it was... :)

You don't know what you've done...

Sometimes... it takes only dat 10 seconds of your time to make someone smile...
Someone you know could be feeling down in the dumps but when you take that time to just send a simple "Hi, How r u?" SMS or make that short call on the way out , you could be making someone's day... Your simple message could make them feel that someone actually cares... And the best part of it all... that smile is priceless... and even if you don't get to see it, you will certainly be able to see it in your heart and feel it in your heart...

I would like to dedicate this blog to all my wonderful friends who have made me smile everytime they took that time to give me a thot and check on me... every single one of you have made me feel that I am cared for... and on some days... you have turned my black day into such a sunny day without even realising it... you have a special place in my heart and I pray that when your day is blue... I will be able to make you smile as well... Thank you and I love you :)

To the rest of you out there...
-Send that email or SMS or make that call today ya? I am sure someone out there needs it today... :)

A wish for a fellow blogger...

Dear Id,

Heard that you are a lil under the weather... Here's wishing you a speedy recovery and hope that good health comes your way soon... Insyaallah...Take care and hurry back to our lil blogworld soon ya! Get well soon blog buddy... :)

Which Tarot am I Today?

It's so strange how certain things are so true...

You Are The Emperor

You are an authority figure, and other people look to you for what to do.You are strong and powerful. Crossing you is not a good idea.You have worked hard to get to your position, and you're not about to give it up to anyone.Though you have a warrior heart, you are gentle to those who treat you well. Your fortune: In the near future, you need to be willing and able to defend those you love.This may be the time for you to step up and be the authority figure to those around you.It is time for you to be independent, to become your own person.You may need to look at your relationship with your father, or your relationships as a father.

What Tarot Card Are You?

Where pain heals...

Piercings. I've always thought that piercings can be beautiful and sexy depending on the place and the person. How well someone carries a piercing can really depend on their attitude. Nothing to the extreme... just a subtle piercing here and there.

I've always admired some of the women I was in company with who had piercings... I've often wished that I had a piercing. But for me... that could never happen eventho it was on my things-to-do-before-i-get-too-old-and-it-would-seem-ridiculous-to-do list... the reason being, i was SCARED of NEEDLES!

Then the fateful day came...

I was going through a very emotional time in my life... It's been a painful couple of months... My spirit was breaking... I didn't want to do anything except for staying home and going to my classes... I was on the road to depression...

Finally, my bestfriend from DC(during my college days) decided to come down for a festival and to check on me... She couldnt stand hearing that I was moping around the house and refusing to go out and have fun...

My bestfriend T, told me that she has decided to get a tattoo. She said that before she leaves my town, she plans to make sure that it happens. She dragged me from one tattoo shop to another around town to find the right one, til we came to this shop with a lady tattooist. We both felt comfortable with her and decided that this was the right place for her to get her tattoo done. She decided to have a white lily tattoo. It would be perfect against her dark skin. She's African American. And so she was branded on her ass. :)

And then... she decided that I should get my piercing...

I nearly died! I was fighting tooth and nail.... NO! NO! NO! I am scared of NEEDLES! NOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Next thing I knew....
There I was strapped to THE CHAIR... one hand holding on to T's hand so tightly that I nearly crushed her hand to a debris of human flesh and bones...

And then the Tattoo lady came forward with a SUPERDUPERMEGABIGDADDYOFABIGGIE NEEDLE ( i kid you not! it was HUGE!)

I nearly fainted when I saw it...

I closed my eyes... and prayed - " oh God! Please don't make me bleed to death! oh God! Please don't allow a freak accident to happen during the process! oh God! Please don't let my nose be torn into 2 pieces by this GIGANTIC needle! oh God! How did I succumb to this torture?... oh God!....etc

And then I felt the cold metal invading the cave of my nostril... Aiiieeeee!

Gritting my teeth as I felt the metal penetrate my nose... tears rolled down my eyes....

It was painful... just for a moment... the pain was so great...

and then she linked my nose stud to the edge of the metal thingy... and with a final TWIST- argh! excruciating... it was all OVER!

There was BLOOD involved! I bled.........................

But suddenly................. something happened...

I felt so light...

As if a big burden had been lifted of me...

The emotional pain I was carrying around... was gone...
As if an exchange had been done...
An eye for an eye... emotional pain for physical pain...

It was an amazing experience...

After talking to the Tattoo Lady... she told me that she has encountered a few people who had experienced the same thing as me...

Strange but true... this time one pain healed another...

I overcame one of my main FEARs too on that day... fear of the NEEDLE... and it felt GOOD!

T and I ... truly bonded that day... she with her tattoo and me with my nose piercing...
Thank you T for knowing what I needed... there was a method to your madness :)


(Disclaimer: I do not recommend this method to anyone else!)

Just because i was bored...

4 Jobs I've Had in My Life...
1. Snack bar crew
2. Cafe operator
3. Freelance Graphic Designer
4. Boutique Copywriter

4 Movies I Could Watch Over and Over...
1. Spaceballs
2. Great Expectations
3. Tombstone
4. Usual Suspects

4 Places I've lived...
1. Kuantan
2. Kuching
3. USA
4. Petaling Jaya

4 TV Shows I Love to Watch...
1. CSI
2. Spongebob Squarepants
3. Seinfeld
4. (to be updated)

4 Places I've Been on Vacation...
1. UK
2. USA
3. Marrakech
4. Southern Spain

4 Websites I Visit Daily...
1. (to be updated)
2. (to be updated)
3. (to be updated)
4. (to be updated)

4 of My Favorite Foods...
1.TexMex cuisine
2. Italian cuisine
3. Oriental cuisine
4. Mediterranean cuisine

4 Places I'd Rather be Right Now...
1. USA
2. Langkawi
3. Scarlet Hotel
4. Serendipity

4 Bloggers I'm Tagging...
1. A bored blogger
2. A survey maniac blogger
3. An obsessive compulsive answer freak blogger
4. A blogger after my own heart!

ReGifters... Are you a GUILTY party?

It's your birthday. Or perhaps it's just one of those special occasions in your life that you are celebrating. On that day the gifts come pouring in... everything was just perfect... the setting, the company, the food... and the gifts...

Well... all the gifts, except for one in particular... You can't really figure out why someone would get you a gift like this... it doesnt seem like a lot of thought was put into it... it seems like a carelessly given gift... was there not enough time to purchase a nice one? or... have you been downgraded so low in that list, which means that you don't deserve much thought at all... (after all, you had set out to make sure that you got them a really nice-with-a-lot-of-thought-put-into-it-not-to-mention-how-much-it-costs-you-kinda-gift, on their happy occasion)... but the main question now is, was this gift, given to you, a practice of a ReGifter?

I was watching Seinfeld the other day and the sitcom theme for that episode was regarding ReGifters. Although i found that episode extremely amusing, I have to say that it does make me wonder about some of the gifts which I've received in my lifetime.

To me, it's not a matter of how much you spend, but how much of thought, you put into giving someone something. It could be the cheapest thing in the whole wide world, but, because it is given with a lot of thought put into it, the gift will come out... PRICELESS! This is the one thing which I believe a lot of us tends to forget. A thoughtful gift goes a long way.

I think ReGifters should feel ashamed of themselves... For me, I would never give away something which is given to me... whether I like it or not, because even though I question it, I will always give it the benefit of a doubt that it is given to me with much sincerity and a lot of thought... perhaps they thought that I needed that gift for a certain reason and I might just find it handy at one point in my life in the future...

Here's a funny story about ReGifting:

When I was about 3 years old, my dad went to Hawaii to teach a course in a university in Honolulu. We did not go with him, because the apartment he was living in, did not allow small children to live there. So when he came back for a short break, my mom had passed him a nice batik scarf to be given to the spouse of the Professor he was working with, as a souvenir from Malaysia. All was well and after teaching the course for 6 months, my dad came home... he kept in touch with the Prof throuhout the years ... and finally in 1988, my dad took all of us for a holiday there... the Prof has retired and was quite sickly then, but he still made an effort to come and visit us at the hotel then, his wife could not make it, but had given my mom a gift instead... imagine my mom's surprise that, the gift she received was, the SAME BATIK SCARF which she had given to the Professor's wife. HEHEHEHE!!! That lady was guilty of being a REGIFTER! and what was worse, she gave it back to someone who had given it to her in the first place... she actually kept the gift for more than a decade, and finally decided to give it away.... haha!

SHAME ON YOU REGIFTERS! HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?

RM200

The awaited call came last week. Mr.K called me up and informed me that the scratch is going to cost me RM200 because it turned out that it wasnt just a scratch, but the whole paint job is chipped! Aah well... i'll just consider this as "tolak bala" and perhaps there were times where i probably had failed to pay my zakat or i haven't been as charitable monetary wise as i should have...
We've called and sms-ed each other back and forth throughout the whole of last week, but he never came around to pick it up.
I actually thought that he had changed his mind.....
HAHAHA! FAT CHANCE! :) this is KL after all... it would have been a really really really rare moment that someone would not want the money owed to him /her.
Anyway... he collected yesterday. At least he came over to the office and collected... hehe!

I had plenty of rest last weekend... well, kind of...

Took my mom and nephew out for brunch at Paddington's Pancake House at The Curve... YUmsss! I had the silver dollar pancakes... My friend came over to join us there after...
My mischievous nephew could not help but gave a brilliant demo of his vocal chords in the pristine atmosphere of the pancake house... haha! Suddenly, he has found the meaning of talking out loud in baby talk, and it just had to be in the company of strangers... eek! the attention seeker!... he is 7 and a half months old... Thank goodness he is a real cutey! hehe! ...so all is forgiven... :) Muahhhhs! Love you Buchuk!

My mom made me spend mega bucks in Binwanis... i made 4 pieces of baju kurung there... i think it was 4 ...or was it 5?...

Spent more in MPH- i am such a sucker for bookstores! Ah yes! Even managed to get my usual... Archie's Double Digest, Betty and Veronica's Double Digest and last but not least, the lovable all time woman hater Jug's Double Digest... hehe!

Went home after that... i was totally plastered... had a short nap and then my sis came over...

A close friend decided to buy us all dinner... darn! i was hoping for a quiet nite... ahh well...
We had dinner at this place called the Crocodile Farm in subang... the food was good :) and No! we didnt eat any crocodile meat there...

Came home and slept ... oh glorious sleep!

Sunday was the usual...
Mom wanted breakfast at the usual mamak shop... she loves her tosey...
Then i rushed over to pick up sis and we were on our way to an hour of pure pain and pleasure hehe! Belly dancing class! We decided to go all the way and joined the performance class as well.. which means, we have an hour break in between classes...
After trumping around like a dancing hippo, i always wonder why the heck do i join this class? I actually pay to get tortured for an hour, and now two hours a week!
Jiggle here... jiggle there... shimmy here... shimmy there....
But i guess, it's not really about the torturing which keeps me wanting more... it is that one hour in a week which :
1. i get to spend quality time with my sis
2. i get to have fun with new and old friends
3. exercise is always good - and dancing is always a better choice
4. i get to escape for a moment in my mind and lose myself in this ancient dance
5. the teacher is so funny and has a wicked sense of humor
6. it's nice to see a bunch of ladies from all walks of life sharing a common interest-closing the gap
7. i'm doing something for me for once :)

Well... i didnt do much after that... just rested more and went out for dinner with my mom, sis and cuteypie...

What i missed this weekend: a big REUNION event... ahh well... there will be another one...

What a Beginning...

Was working til about 3.45am last nite... By the time i was home, it was 4am or so....
Didnt get much sleep bcoz i was too worried bout waking up late and goin to work on time... left the house early and on the way to work, my mind travelled back to the conversation i had with my boss while we were on the way to Shah Alam about how to slow down the impact of an accident if we can anticipate the accident head on with no escape route...

Finally i reached Plaza Damas about 8.30am or so... And the nightmare began...
I saw a long line at the entrance of the carpark... cant figure out why nobody is using the entrance next to it... so... when i had the chance, i manouvered my car all the way there...

After continuosly pressing for the parking ticket which never came, i then only saww the word blinking there which says KEY PRODUCT! I guess it means you need an access key to use that entrance... which is strange cause it has never happened before this... so i looked to the side mirror and started to reverse...

Suddenly i heard a HONK! and slammmmmm! i hit somebody's car.... Awww damnnnn
The dude came out ... and told me that i should look at the back before i reverse... but he seems very calm.... So we decided to enter the parking lot and look at the damages...

I was so lucky that it was just a scratch on his part... i told him to give me a call and i'll pay for the damages if any... he told me that he had just painted the car and a polish should do it...

Anyway... i feel so lucky that he is such a reasonable guy... I feel really bad about this... but i thank the Almighty that he is a nice guy and doesnt seem like he will take advantage of the situation... Thanx Mr. K! Give me a call and i'll polish up that car of yours...

On a creepy note : My colleague told me that he had an accident today as well in the same area ... wats going on with the vibes in Damas?

Blessed...

My life has been pretty rough the last couple of years... but thru it all, (the loss of family members, friendships and businesses), i've always tried my best to find new things to feel blessed about. And i have to say that despite some very trying moment, (moments where i just felt that being in a coma would have been better than living and witnessing all the pain and tragedies in my life), at the end of those days or moments, God has never failed me. What i've learnt from those days is that... no matter how tough or bad things are, something good will come along to brighten up your life.

Sometimes it is very necessary to let go of something and not hang on to sentimentalities which you find in a childhood friendship or a new found friendship, which of late just brings you down in the dumps. Because someone who knows you that long or that deep, would immediately know what would hurt you and what wouldnt hurt you. A childhood friend or a good friend, would make the best of friends or the worst enemies.

A good friend is measured by the strength of a friendship in good or bad times. Whether its a newly discovered friendship or an old one. When a good friend has turned into a toxic friend, it is okay to let go. Sometimes we get so caught up in the whirlwind of fun and adventure that we are blinded by the truth of the matter... I read a magazine recently and found these points to be very interesting. Sad to say that I could actually relate to it in the sense that some of the "good" friendships i thot i had, were the ones which were so bad for me.

The points which i could relate to were :

-A good friend won't get a kick out of telling you bad news... a good friend won't pretend that the hurtful news she is telling you nonchantly is something so blase!

-A good friend won't try to come between you and the man of your dreams, as soon as the chance is gone, she tries to get her hooks on the guy...

-A good friend won't try to rain on your parade. Being negative about things when you really need to hear something positive or get some good support.

-A good friend would never reveal things about you in the company of strangers. A good friend would protect you.

-A good friend won't try to embarrass you by telling the whole wide world about things you are going thru, no matter how minor it seems.

-A good friend would never try to steal your limelight away. They would never try to perform stunts just for the sake of attention or for ego boosting reasons and silently wishes the attention comes their way.

-A good friend is not someone who pretends to care about you so deeply, yet secretly is envious of you.

Sometimes its sad... and hard to let go of what you thought is a good friendship in your life, but being on your own is a whole lot better than being around a two faced friend. But I have to say again how blessed i am that each time, God will protect me and i will wake up before they destroy my self esteem entirely. With each door i feel the need to close, God has opened up a window or two for me, even if it's not a whole door, the windows are enough to bring sunlight into my darkened life. Alhamdulillah. Amin.

I dont know why I felt the need to write this blog today... but i am sure it's fated that i wrote it. Insyaallah... the truth will come out...